All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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