Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
