You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
