before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
