jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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