I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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