he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
