My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
