Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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