You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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