i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
