On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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