he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
