just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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