I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
