discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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