I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
