I just made out with a guy for $7.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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