Jerry, you need to find god
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
