so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
