Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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