I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
