I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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