i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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