Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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