Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
