Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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