the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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