Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
