Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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