i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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