Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he thought i was a dude.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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