good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
