A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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