scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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