More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Fuck appropriateness.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
