like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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