i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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