His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
