accomplished twins. life is a go
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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