we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
