he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
