ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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