they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
