Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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