guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
