If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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