Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
