I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
