we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
